{"id":7802,"date":"2017-02-13T17:17:08","date_gmt":"2017-02-13T14:17:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/3alamaltanmya.com\/?p=7802"},"modified":"2017-02-13T17:17:08","modified_gmt":"2017-02-13T14:17:08","slug":"words-matter-vs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/3alamaltanmya.com\/?p=7802","title":{"rendered":"WORDS MATTER: \u201cYOU\u201d VS. \u201cI\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\u201cYou are such a slob. You just expect me to clean up after you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are always working. Work is more important to you than your family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are so frivolous. You just think money grows on trees.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sound familiar?<\/p>\n

Arguments about housework, priorities and money are nothing new. In fact, for many couples, they are weekly challenges. But that is exactly why choosing the right words during an argument is so important.<\/p>\n

Even when you have the best of intentions, what you say can escalate an argument into a full-blown fight and really hurt the one you love. And one of the most common mistakes those in a relationship make with their language is the use of \u201cyou-statements.\u201d<\/p>\n

WHAT IS A \u201cYOU-STATEMENT?\u201d<\/h2>\n

\u201cYou-statements,\u201d such as those listed above, are phrases that begin with the pronoun \u201cyou\u201d and imply that the listener is responsible for something. They show no ownership of emotions, but rather, blame, accuse and assume the receiver. This type of statement is more likely to make your partner feel defensive and resentful, and he or she will be less likely to want to make peace.<\/p>\n

WHAT IS AN \u201cI-STATEMENT?\u201d<\/h2>\n

\u201cI-statements,\u201d on the other hand, force us to take responsibility for what we are thinking and feeling, and prevents us from blaming our partners. With \u201cI-statements,\u201d we can still be assertive, but find a less hostile, more compassionate way to communicate.<\/p>\n

FORMING \u201cI-STATEMENTS\u201d<\/h2>\n

So how do you turn a \u201cyou-statement\u201d into an \u201cI-statement?\u201d<\/p>\n

First, remember that the point of an \u201cI-statement\u201d is to express how you feel inside. A true \u201cI-statement\u201d uses specific emotions such as \u201cI feel\u2026\u201d joyful, anxious, lonely, resentful, angry, calm, embarrassed, fearful, etc.<\/p>\n

Avoid words that may seem like emotions, but really imply the action of your partner: \u201cI feel\u2026ignored, annoyed, pissed off, mistreated, manipulated, controlled, cheated, abandoned, etc.\u201d<\/p>\n

It is also a common misperception that you can tack on the words \u201cI feel\u201d in front of a statement. For example, \u201cI feel like you are taking me for granted.\u201d That is just a \u201cyou-statement\u201d in disguise. It implies blame. And there is no actual emotion being expressed.<\/p>\n

To help you better understand how you to turn a \u201cyou-statement\u201d into an \u201cI-statement,\u201d consider how to change your language during these common conflicts:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

by :- \u00a0Kerry Song<\/strong><\/a><\/div>\n
\nThis article was published in 3alamaltanmya<\/a>
\nsponsored by Future Builders International Academy<\/a>
\nLed by Dr.Maha Fouad<\/a>
\n\"e5f2ef68-75e1-4678-9ffc-3479da505483\"\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou are such a slob. You just expect me to clean up after you.\u201d \u201cYou are always working. Work is more important to you than your family.\u201d \u201cYou are so frivolous. You just think money grows on trees.\u201d Sound familiar? Arguments about housework, priorities and money are nothing new. In fact, for many couples, they …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7803,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11956],"tags":[11982,15343,15344,14748,14644,15297,12414],"class_list":["post-7802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-english-articles","tag-action","tag-actual","tag-assertive","tag-common","tag-conflict","tag-language","tag-responsibility"],"yoast_head":"\nWORDS MATTER: \u201cYOU\u201d VS. \u201cI\u201d - \u062c\u0631\u064a\u062f\u0629 \u0639\u0627\u0644\u0645 \u0627\u0644\u062a\u0646\u0645\u064a\u0629<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/3alamaltanmya.com\/?p=7802\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ar_AR\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"WORDS MATTER: \u201cYOU\u201d VS. \u201cI\u201d - \u062c\u0631\u064a\u062f\u0629 \u0639\u0627\u0644\u0645 \u0627\u0644\u062a\u0646\u0645\u064a\u0629\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cYou are such a slob. 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