الرئيسية / بيت العيلة / ” بيت العيلة ” تضع حلول لمواجهة الانتحار
20120411_CT_suicide_MSM Photo Illustration Suicide Micah Scott Mirimanian Suicide was the third leading cause of death amount people between the ages of 15 and 24 in 2007 according to the National Institute of Mental Health. An estimated eleven suicide attempts happen for every suicide death. The NIMH states that most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention, and a person who appears suicidal should never be left alone.

” بيت العيلة ” تضع حلول لمواجهة الانتحار

حلول لمواجهة الانتحار ؟

اول ابنى الانتحار ، خاصة أننى أوفر لاسرتى حياة كريمة ، ولكننى فؤجئت باقدام ابنى على الانتحار والان أنا فى غاية الحيرة .. هل اواجهه بالاسباب التى دفعته لمحاولة الانتحار ام اتجاهل هذا الامر ؟

الرد

إن الشخص المقدم على الانتحار قد لا يطلب المساعدة، رغم أنها قد تكون ضرورية بشكل كبير. إن معظم الأشخاص الذين يرتكبون الانتحار ليس في نيّتهم الموت، بل إنهم يرغبون فقط في إنهاء الألم النفسي الشديد الذي يعانون منه.

تبدأ الوقاية من الانتحار بالتعرف على العلامات الدالة على الرغبة بالانتحار وأخذها على محمل الجدّ. إذا كنت تعتقد أن أبنك مقدمٌ على الانتحار فقد يكون من الصعب عليك مفاتحته في هذا الموضوع، لكن تذكّر أن التكلم بشكل صريح حول الموضوع قد ينقذ حياته من الموت. وعليكم ان تتفهموا أسباب هذا السلوك الانتحاري وهل ابنكم دخل دائرة الاكتئاب وبالتالي لابد من علاج الاكتئاب .

الانتحار يبدأ غالبا بفكره ثم محاولة قد تتبعها محاولات اخرى فإذا لم نلحق هذا الشخص فقد يؤذي نفسه .

نصيحتي اكتشاف السبب الرئيسي الذي يدفعه لهذا أفكار ومساعدته على تجنب هذه الافكار ومن الاولى الحديث مع ابنكم بشكل غير مباشر للتعرف على الأسباب واذا اعترف لكم بينوا له بأنكم سوف تساعدونه وتمدون له يد العون وسوف تكونون امله للعيش بعيدا عن اي فكرة شيطانية قد تؤذيه مع تبيان مآل هذا السلوك من الجانب الديني وأنتم اقرب الناس لابنكم وتعلمون ما يحب وما لا يحب ،، فمثلا عليكم عدم تركه لوحدته وتشجيعه على الاختلاط بالآخرين وممارسة بعض الأنشطة التي تبعده عن الانطواء والوحدة وهما من أسباب الافكار الانتحارية

كيف تقهر الوسواس ؟؟؟؟

السلام عليكم انا اسمى احمد عمرى 18سنة البداية كانت في شهر 2015/6 اشاهد مباره لكرة القدم على التليفزيون واحسست فجأة انى سأبلع لساني وشعرت باصفرار في الوجه وضيق في التنفس وخفقان في القلب وفى نفس اليوم ذهبت الى طبيب انف واذن وحنجرة وقال لى ليس لدى تفسير على ذلك وذهبت من عند الطبيب وانا خائف ولم انم لمدة يومين ثم بعد ذلك وانا اصلى صلاة العشاء اتى الى وسواس يقول لى انك ستموت واحسست بخفقان فى القلب وضيق فى التنفس مرة آخرى وبعد ذلك ذهبت فى شهر2015/7 الى طبيب وعمل لى فحوصات كاملة  وقال لى انه لايوجد شئ وعاودنى الوسواس  مرة ثالثة ثم احسست بنغزات فى القلب وذهبت الى دكتور اخر وقال لى انه المعدة ملتهبة ثم اعطانى ادوية وشفيت والحمدلله ثم اتى الى الواسوس مرة أخرى ولكن بعض الناس نصحونى بالذهاب الى طبيب نفسى واعطانى ادوية ثقيلة الإ اننى لم استمر معه بسبب ظروفى وخاصة انا فى الثانوية العامة ومنذ ذلك الحين وياتى الى وسواس الموت ..انا اعرف ان هذا الوسواس كاذب وبعد ذلك يأتى الى وسواس المرض واننى ساموت بازمة قلبية .. وقد اجريت 6 رسم قلب وكانت سليمة و عندما أجرى رسم قلب يختفى الوسواس ويأتى الى مرة ثانية.. مع العلم انى شخص استسلم الى الوسواس على الرغم من علمى بانه كاذب .. والان ياتى الى حرقان فى الصدر كحة والم فى الصدر وفى اماكن متفرقة من الظهر  ، هل اذهب الى الطبيب واعمل رسم قلب مرة ثانية ؟ وخاصة أن هناك سوء اخر..عندم اجريت فحوصات على الكلى اخبرنى الطبيب ان الكلية اليمنى تالفة ، فما رايكم ؟

السلام عليكم ابني العزيز احمد :

اولاً : اعتقد بأنك ذكي بما فيه الكفايه لتعلم ان الوسواس ماهو الا احاديث شيطان وليس من ذاتك هدفها زعزعة ثقتك بنفسك وإدخالك في دائرة الشك والتصديق وهذا عليك الانتباه منه .

ثانيا: الوسواس القهري اصبح يعالج بطريقة ايقاف الافكار وهو برنامج ذو خطوات ٨ عليك العمل بها وهي كالتالي:

١- عليك ان تعتبر الحديث الداخلي الذي يحدث لك ما هو الا عبارة عن وسواس شيطان يرغب في إقناعك بما ليس فيك

٢- عليك ان توقف اي فكرة وذلك بقولك لها داخليا ( قف ) واعتبارها جاية من شخص لا تحبه فمثلا تقول بينك وبين نفسك ( قف يافلان) وهو الشخص الذي لا تحبه

٣- تكرار ايقاف اي فكره بالطريقة رقم ٢ يعزل الفكرة نهائيا

٤- طبعا سيحاول الوسواس الدخول عليك بافكار جديدة او تحدي على انك لا تستطيع ايقافه وكل ما عليك هو الإصرار على استخدام سلاح ايقاف وردع الافكار كما وضحت لك في خطوة ٢

٥- استبدال اي فكرة تأتيك من الوسواس بأفكار انت تحبها وواقعيه  ( مثلا) باْذن الله أعيش طويلاً ،، انا بخير .. وردد هذه الكلمات الايجابية بينك وبين نفسك كثيراً

٦- سوف تجد ان الافكار التي تأتيك سلبية وتؤذي نفسك لن تعود باْذن الله تعالى

٧- تعلم الا تنزعج من اي فكرة ففي الدراسات وجد كثير من الباحثين ان ٩٩٪‏ من التوقعات السلبية التي يقولها الانسان لنفسه لا تتم ابدا.

٨ – لا تستسلم لاي فكرة تتعبك وفكر لحظتها بالعكس وهذه هي الايجابية التي تساعدنا لعدم التأثر بالوسواس القهري،،، وفقك الله

كيف تتخلص من التنمر  ؟

من أكثر المشكلات التي يحتار بها الوالدان و يقف أمامها المربون بالمدارس عاجزون عن التعامل الصحيح أمامها هي التنمر, فهي مشكلة سلوكية  نشهد وجودها بكثرة في مدارسنا و بيوتنا في ظل غياب دليل واضح للإجراءات الصحيحة بالتعامل معها .

والتنمر شكل من أشكال العدوان إلا أنه يختلف عنه في أن موازين القوى مختلفة فالمتنمر شخص متسلط يصب عدوانه و سخريته وعنفه على ضحيته  بهدف فرض سلطته و هيمنته و النيل منه , و قد ذكر الباحثون بأن المتنمر يختار ضحية ضعيفة تتسم بشكل متميز عن غيره  كالوزن الزائد أو العيب الخلقي أو أن يكون ذات شخصية ضعيفة أو يتسم بالخجل وانعزاله عن الاخرين و أحيانا لمستواه الدراسي المرتفع أو المنخفض, و لكن ما يلاحظ حاليا بأن المتنمرون قد يتخذون ضحاياهم من المتميزين و الناجحين  والموهوبين خاصة بوسائل التواصل الاجتماعي حيث يمارس عليهم التنمر الإلكتروني .

سأركز هنا على دور الأسرة في التخفيف من آثار التنمر و سأقدم عدة تقنيات أثبتت فعاليتها بالحالات التي تعاملت معها و هنا أشدد على دور الوالدين في فهم هذه المشكلة و التعامل معها بحكمة و صبر و الكثير من الاحتواء  لابنهم و عدم توجيه اللوم له مطلقا , علما بأن هذه التقنيات لا تغني عن طلب المساعدة من المدرسة لإيقاف هذا السلوك و اتخاذ الإجراءات اللازمة ضد المتنمر .

وهي كالتالي:

1-إظهار التعاطف بالحوار مع الطفل و إيصال له الإحساس بمشاعره, فعندما يخبرك طفلك بأن أحد زملائه بالفصل علق عليه بكلمات جارحة و أنه محرج مما حصل, بادر باحتضانه و قل له ( نعم فعلا شيء محرج ما حصل لك اليوم و مزعج )

إن هذه التقنية إن طبقتها بالشكل أعلاه ستجعلك مشاركا لابنك بمشاعره و كأنك حملت نصف الحمل عنه وستخف حدة الحزن عنده لأنه وجد من يفهمه ويكون ملاذا آمنا يبوح له بهمومه.

2-قم بصياغة عباراتك بكلمات لها وقعا مؤثر على ابنك تبعث فيه إحساس الأمان لأن هدفنا في البداية تقديم الأمان للطفل الخائف و مساندته بمشكلته فحين يبوح بما يضايقه استخدم هذه الجمل ( الآن سنحل هذه المشكلة , أو سنفكر بحل لمشكلتنا ) بدلا من هذه الجملة ( كيف ستحل مشكلتك , كيف ستتصرف مع هذا الموقف الذي حدث معك )

العبارة الأولى تعطي الطفل دعم معنوي و مساندة كبيرة و تنقل له رسالة مفادها ( لست وحدك ) .

3-اذكر الصفات الحسنة لطفلك فعندما يتعرض إلى التنمر فإن قيمته تجاه نفسه و ثقته تنخفض إلى أقصى حد فتحيط به المشاعر السلبية و عندما تذكره بمواقفه الإيجابية فأنت ترفع من قيمته لنفسه, مثال: أنت كريم, عطوف, أمين..,هل تذكر ذلك اليوم حين ساعدتني بإيجاد المفتاح الضائع ؟ أنت ذكي جدا و كنت سريع و تفوقت علينا جميعا , أنت مساعدي الأول بالمنزل لأنك تقوم بأعمال مفيدة و هامة مثل : ترتيب الكتب سقيا الزرع …الخ

إن ذكر هذه المواقف له والإشادة بأعماله ستصنع أثرا إيجابيا و تساهم بإعادة ثقته لنفسه والتي هي نقطة أساسية لمعالجة آثار التنمر.

4-شاركه تجاربك السابقة حين كنت صغيرا و مواقفك الصعبة التي مررت بها فهو يعتبرك قدوته و نموذجه القوي أخبره بأنك قد تلقيت تعليقات مشابهه و تعرضت للأذى من الآخرين, وقد تجاوزتها الآن و نجحت بالتغلب عليها, حين يستمع طفلك إلى قصصك سينجذب إليها و سيظل يتساءل كيف تصرفت يا ماما ؟ ماذا فعلت يا بابا ؟ لأن القصة يظل لها تأثيرا أكبر بنفس الطفل و إذا كان بطلها الأب أو الأم فإن أثرها سيكون أكبر.

و هنا رسالتين للطفل هما أن الكل معرضين لهذه المواقف الصعبة ليس لأنهم سيئين بل لأن هناك فئة من الناس تتعمد مضايقة الآخرين والرسالة الأخرى أن الشخص قادر أن يتغلب على تلك المواقف و يتجاوزها و ستصبح من الذكريات .

5-إقرأ له قصة تدور حول الموضوع ذاته أو هو يقرأها لك و يمثل شخصياتها مع إخوته فالقصص تحفز الطفل على التعبير عن مشاعره وأفكاره وستجده مندفعا بالأسئلة والحوار والأفكار .

6-الرسم له فعالية كبيرة في إزالة التوتر و إعطاء الطفل مساحة للتعبير عن إنفعالاته و تفريغها على الورقة .

7- لاتدع طفلك فريسة للقلق و للأفكار بالجلوس طول اليوم دون مزاولة أي نشاط , بعد المدرسة أشركه بنشاط مثل السباحة و الكاراتيه أو كرة القدم أو الرسم أو أي مجهود بدني يصرف به طاقته السلبية و يرفع بثقته من نفسه و يطور بمهاراته الدفاعية ضد أي اعتداء مستقبلا.

8-دعه يتحدث عن إنجازاته أو يعرض أعماله عند أفراد الأسرة أو باجتماع العائلة الأسبوعي سيحفزه ذلك و يشجعه على مضاعفة إنجازاته .

9-إن كانت تنتابه أحلام ليلية مزعجة أو نوبات استيقاظ بمنتصف الليل احتضنه و ابقى بجانبه حتى ينام فتلك فترة عصيبة يمر بها الطفل و يحتاج لإحتواء من الوالدين و مساندة و بمجرد تجاوز هذا المشكلة ستنتهي كل الأعراض .

10-اسند له مسؤوليات منزلية يقوم بها بشكل يومي .

11-إن لاحظت إنخفاض بمستواه الأكاديمي لا تؤنبه و قدم له المساعدة على رفع مستواه و تواصل مع المدرسة لتقديم حلولا لذلك و لتعلم بان هناك علاقة مباشرة بين التنمر و انخفاض المستوى الدراسي .

إن الحوار مع الطفل هو الشريان الأساسي لإنجاح تلك الفنيات فإن كنت صديقا لطفلك منصتا له فإن كل تلك المشكلات سيكون تأثيرها محدود بسبب قربك له أما إذا فقدت سبل الحوار مع الطفل او المراهق فإن اكتشاف المشكلة سيأخذ وقتا أطول مما يفاقم تأثيرها

#بناة_المستقبل

#أكاديمية_بناة_المستقبل

#راعي_التنمية_بالوطن_العربي

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